Day 1: Driving a car for the first time in years

The first fear I’m facing in this challenge: driving a car. For most people it’s a daily task they probably don’t spend much thought on. For me, however, driving has become one of the most dreadful things someone could ask me to do.

A little background

I got my drivers license at 17 right before graduating from high school. But then I went abroad for a year of traveling and after I came back I moved away from my hometown to start Uni. That was 6 years ago. Ever since I got my license I would occasionally practice with my parents car when I’d visit them. Which happens about once or twice a year.

Why are you afraid?

I wasn’t really confident in my driving at any point since I’ve gotten my license. So I know the main problem is that I’m lacking confidence which results in an unreasonably elevated fear in doing something wrong. Being a little nervous and cautious would be fine – and reasonable, but I get cold sweats just thinking about having to drive.

What are you afraid of?

Many things. One of them is losing control. But mainly it’s being an obstruction to others.

I remember this one instance when I had just gotten my license. I had to stop at a traffic light and when it turned green I couldn’t get the car to start. The nerves got to me. People behind me started honking which made me even more nervous and I panicked. I wanted to switch places with my mom who was sat next to me but she refused. The traffic light turned red again and because of me, nobody had passed it. It turned green again. The same thing happened again. It took me three green periods to finally get the car moving. People behind me were furious and some had taken the way across the pavement to pass me. It felt terrible and it’s one of the instances that has completely crushed my confidence in driving.

Reasoning with the fear

I’m aware that my main problem is that I lack practice. I don’t have confidence in my driving because I haven’t made many positive experiences with it and by avoiding it all together I’m building it up to be something way bigger than it actually is.

What’s the challenge?

I didn’t plan on facing this fear first. It just so happened that I visited my family and they offered to help me practice. It took a lot of convincing. Ultimately, I chose a very simple road, no traffic lights, no highway. Baby steps, to make myself have a positive experience..

How was the experience?

It wasn’t great. But it wasn’t terrible either.

I had someone next to me in case I had any questions but mainly to make me feel safer. Nothing bad happened. I still know the technicalities of driving which was reassuring. So overall it was okay.

The fear isn’t gone – obviously – but I’m really proud that I did it. And it’s a first step in the right direction.

Overview of the whole challenge: click here